I woke up from my first ever colonoscopy. My eyes and mind still a bit blurry, the GI doctor told me “We have to talk. We found something in your colon”. The next half hour, I sat in his office. He showed me, pictures at hand, the size, shape and location of the tumor they discovered. Still under the effects of the anesthesia, and because I’ve never been ill before, I didn’t know what make of it then. In the following weeks, I discovered that my life would not be the same anymore.

Going through cancer is a huge identity crisis. Your entire environment wants you to identify as a cancer patient. You are sick, you have a special condition and you need treatment. Your whole life shifts from one where you are in charge to one where the doctors and medical teams are in charge. Employer, insurance and all the paperwork remind you daily of your condition. Your family, friends and colleagues want to treat you differently. Some feeling sorry for you. Others avoiding you. All projecting their own fears onto you. And, the most impactful one, your physical appearance alters. You don’t recognize yourself in the mirror.

You have a choice to make.

Will you identify with your current circumstances? “I am a cancer patient”. “I have cancer”. “I am sick”. “There’s something ugly in me”. “There’s something wrong with me and/or my body”. When you identify with your current circumstances, you create what you currently have.

Or will you decide to believe something different, even if you don’t see the evidence yet? “My body is perfect just as it is”. “This is part of my journey and it’s OK”. “I am becoming a stronger person going through this experience”. “Everything happens for me”. The more you identify with your beliefs, the more evidence you will find to confirm those beliefs.

For example, I chose to believe that my cancer was a blessing in disguise. And I found all the evidence to confirm that belief. My doctor’s recommendation to do a colonoscopy was a blessing (I had no symptoms at all to suggest I needed one). Being diagnosed while living in NYC was a blessing. Being treated in the best hospital in the world for cancer by the best doctors in the world was a blessing. Having my family’s, friends’ and colleagues’ support was blessing. Working in a great company like L’Oreal was a blessing. Taking the opportunity of the time-off to become a certified Life Coach was a blessing. Coaching clients going through cancer treatment is a blessing.

Some will argue that this is being in denial. When it comes to beliefs, we are all in denial, one way or the other.

Which beliefs make you feel better? Which beliefs serve you best to be able to show up every day as the person you want to be? What will you decide to make it mean?

Life is now; not next week, next month or next year. How do you want to show up now?

Choose consciously. Choose purposefully.

With love,

Laurent