Clients who have overcome cancer often struggle with fear that it can secretly come back. Secretly meaning they never know when, where and how it can come back. And they are eager to get rid of that fear as fast as possible.

I help them work on their story around cancer. I help them create an empowering story where they are heroes and not victims. I help them so that they can show up as their best version and create the lives that they want.

This is possible because I first help them make peace with fear. There’s nothing wrong with feeling fear. Fear is a normal human emotion. Never feeling fear would mean they don’t have a normal functioning human brain.

Making peace with fear means allowing it and recognizing where it comes from. It’s feeling fear but without letting fear control them.

Accepting fear is the first step to start imagining and creating the life they want. It’s the first step to finding the courage to live their lives fully.

We are complex and beautiful creatures.

With love,

Laurent

There is usually lots of love around cancer patients.

Love from family and friends of course.

Love from colleagues who are eager to see you back at work.

Love from the medical staff who devote their lives to their patients.

Love from other patients who are sharing this journey with you and who wish you to get well. Because every success is a light of hope that they can make it too.

But you will fail to see and receive this love if you don’t love yourself first. Being in a state of fear, anger or frustration will only shine light on what is wrong with you and your life.

Love for yourself, just as you are. And you will see how the world loves you.

With love,

Laurent

Your body is pounded when going through cancer treatment. Chemotherapy, radiation, surgery, needles, straps, band-aids, neon lights, cold metal, you name it. All your senses are stressed. It’s one thing after the other, and it never seems to come to an end. And inside your body there’s cancer fighting back.

Your brain will go to a place where it only sees what’s wrong with your body. Your brain will have many negative thoughts. And you will find yourself in a state of unacceptance.

You need to manage your mind in those moments. It’s important that you reconnect with your body and see what’s right.

Physical activity is imperative, in whatever form it takes. Walking everyday can show your brain how your body is incredibly resilient. Reconnect with your body through all its senses and see what is so wonderful about it. Get back to a state of acceptance.

Cancer is only one part of your journey. Your body is the journey.

With love,

Laurent

Allowing yourself to dream and to desire is important.

Regardless how vane or materialistic you may judge your desires.

They are all important because they are indications of who you want to be in this life.

The point of having goals comes not so much from achieving them than from the person we become in the process of achieving them.

Whether you achieved your goal or not, you will have become a more developed version of yourself.

In the end, the whole purpose of having goals is growing.

Becoming the best version of ourselves.

Living lives to our fullest potential, which is limitless.

The limit to our potential is only our beliefs of what is possible or impossible.

With love,

Laurent

One of the tasks I work on with my clients is to set a goal for themselves. I often get some pushback on this. I hear something like: “Look Laurent, I’ve been pursuing goals my entire career. I’m going through a rough time right now. All I want is to rest and not start to hustle my way to achieving new goals”.

I question those beliefs. Is being in a state of anxiety, uncertainty and doubt restful? Emotions coming from thoughts like “I don’t know what is going to happen” are the biggest dream killers out there. If it’s to feel uncomfortable anyways, might as well go after your dreams. Rather than sitting on the couch spinning in your own head.

Setting goals allows to provide structure and supervision to our brains. Allowing ourselves to dream gets us out of identifying ourselves through the lens of cancer. You stop indulging in thoughts like “I don’t know”.

I also believe it sends a powerful message to the body: “There are things I want to achieve, to experience and to become”. It sends the message “I want to live this life fully. I still have things to do”.

Using my personal example, I signed up for a training and got certified as a Life Coach. I started coaching clients going through cancer treatment. I taught my clients these concepts by recording and posting videos. I built my website and starting blogging. I learned to accelerate my twitter account. I interviewed in a podcast. All this while I was going myself through cancer treatment.

Was it easy? No. Was it uncomfortable? For sure. Were there some days that I wanted to quit? Of course. But I kept going. And during all that time, my mind was focused and would not indulge in thoughts that were not serving me.

Cancer is not a reason to stop dreaming. It’s exactly the opposite.

With love,

Laurent

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, I had the thought “I am going to die”. I felt terror. It was a terrible feeling.

When the brain thinks it’s going to die, it goes immediately in Fight or Flight mode. Stress was building up and I started losing perspective. I had crazy thoughts. My brain was going all over the place. I was in a permanent state of terror. I was trying to resist it or avoid it, which only perpetuated the feeling. By not accepting the feeling I wasn’t accepting myself. The emotion was controlling me.

It’s only when I allowed the feeling of terror to arise without reacting to it that I started to get a hold of it. I saw that the thought “I am going to die” was a possibility. But I also recognized that the opposite thought “I am going to live” was also a possibility. Once I accepted my emotion and made peace with it, I got to choose what I wanted to believe.

In a way, preventing myself from dying, I prevented myself from living. Once I allowed my feeling and saw that it was coming from an optional thought, I started living my life fully again.

With love,

Laurent

Cancer patients are always the center of all the attention. Everyone wants to make sure they are getting the best therapies. That they are treated with the greatest care. That they have the best physical and emotional support.

A key player in this process is the caregiver. A spouse, a loved-one, a family member or a friend. They have taken on the task to dedicate a big part of their life to help the cancer patient. 

Yet, the caregiver is often overlooked. They too have to deal with stress, doubt, anxiety and fear. They too have their mind going all over the place and start imagining what all this means for their life. And too often they have to deal with this in silence, as the point of attention is the cancer patient.

If you are the cancer patient, make sure that you share with the caregiver on a regular basis. Especially when making decisions on treatments, finances or supporting other family members (children). In my personal experience, I noticed that at one point I let go of the fear, doubt and anxiety. I moved on. I made sure to bring my wife with me on this new phase of the journey.

If you are the caregiver, make sure you get support. Coaching is a powerful tool to help you manage your mind and your emotions. And showing up as the best version of yourself is the best gift you can offer to the loved-one you’re caring for.

With love,

Laurent

My clients share one common fear when going back to work. What will other colleagues think of them and how will they be treated. They’re afraid cancer will follow them as an indelible mark.

What other colleagues think is not under your control so I wouldn’t spend too much time and energy focusing on it. What matters is what you believe. You get to choose what you want to believe about your past experience. You can make it a story where you are a victim or a hero.

You don’t have any control over what other people think. But you can invite them what to think by telling or showing what you believe about yourself. If you believe you are a hero, you will show up as one and people will likely believe you are a hero. Same thing if you believe you are a victim.

Don’t get caught up speculating on what others may think. Be purposeful on what you think. And make sure it’s a story that empowers for your future endeavors.

With love,

Laurent

Lots of my clients argue that they weren’t fulfilled or happy in their job before going through cancer. They drag their feet to get back to work and as a result don’t show up as their best version. Or they believe that they should find another job.

As I always explain to my clients, it’s not your job’s job to make you happy or fulfilled. Only, you can do that by changing your thoughts about the job.

Quitting your job is not a solution. You may get a temporary high because of the newness. But you will quickly fall back into your old thinking patterns. And feel unhappy and unfulfilled again.

You have to get to a place where you love your job. Then you can then decide to stay or to leave.

If you leave, it won’t be because you’re unhappy. You leave just because you want to.

With love,

Laurent

Coaching my clients, one of the biggest challenges they face is getting back to work. Cancer treatment is a traumatic experience. Those who went through it start questioning a lot of aspects of their life.

The first question that people have to deal with is their sense of purpose. After going through a life-threatening situation, you review your motivations and aspirations. For those who are parents, the shift is comparable to when you had your first child. 

It is a crucial step to acknowledge this. And take the time to ask yourself what is it that you want to do with your life. Pay attention to your desires as they are indications of who you want to be or become in this life.

If you had to choose 5 outcomes you would like to achieve before the end of your life, what would they be? Allow yourself to dream.

And then ask yourself how your work fits into those outcomes? Is it an integral part of what you desire? Is it a means (income for example) to a higher purpose?

You decide the life you want to live. This includes the role your work will play in it. Be intentional about it.

With love,

Laurent